2020 September Vibes

Hello There, Friends. Long time.
We have so much catching up to do…

Are you thriving or simply surviving through 2020? How are you? I feel a little of both. And with that, I’ve become more inspired to take the time and update the website on a weekly basis. I need to practice what I preach.
So let’s catch up.


2018. Two years. What’s new? Still pushing through.

March 4th. Came and went. I’ve officially reached my mid-thirties. How the hell did that happen? I was 29 when first diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Most specialists I have seen believe I had this slowly growing inside me since high school. Zero symptoms until I was 23. I had a sore throat for three weeks. Got hit with thyroiditis and a doctor who was heartless. Due to his lack of emotion and horrible biopsy skills, I said fuck it and we moved to LA. Oh to be young and nearly fearless. Six plus years thinking I was untouchable.

Fast forward to 2014. Ready to leave the marketing agency I was currently working for, snagged one last physical to ensure I was healthy as a horse.
I never understood this analogy? Well. I was denied by the Universe. Welcome to my downward spiral. You can read the entire story and more by Starting Here.

To this day, there is a lot of regret and frustration. Why was I so stubborn when I was first warned of the possibility of cancer? Why didn’t I take it more seriously? Why didn’t I follow up a year later? Why did I choose to forget about it? And so much more that I do not have the answers for. Maybe it was fate. Maybe it hit me just when it needed too. I’ve always said everything happens for a reason; at the same time, I’m a skeptic about that phrase. Maybe I wouldn’t be the person I am today without going through all the crazy that is cancer. I can tell you this; it did progress me into being a hypochondriac – which is more stress than it’s worth.

2020. Present day. A massive pandemic running a muck on the world. Emotions everywhere. These are most definitely trying times. I can’t say I don’t have mixed feelings about it all, when comparing it to cancer survival. I promise you, I am not down-playing this current virus, but welcome to a cancer patients world. No sign of anything wrong. No guarantee of survival. No idea what’s next. No control. No free testing. No cure. Just more picking and probing and poison into your body for a chance cure. The only up side is it cannot spread from one person to another – yet.

Note – I hope I’m not scaring anyone at this point. It’s personal experience mixed with all the feels. I remain positive no matter what (most days) because what’s the point of sabotaging an already atrocious year?

Onward we move. September finds us floating toward autumn and nodding to Thyroid Cancer Awareness month. I’m highly jealous of everyone in the Midwest and East Coast – the colors of fall. The seasons. It has always been my favorite time of year. And on that note, be sure to get your neck checked. It’s super simple. I understand the thought, “I don’t even want to know if something is wrong…” or “I’m not interested in going to a doctors office because, covid.” This year has already tried our patience. I also know we are all stronger than we think. And time is of essence. I found that out real quick. Staying a step ahead of the dying game is real life. Don’t cut yourself short because you are scared. Check Your Neck.


I will end today’s post with an offer, wide open. If you ever need someone to talk to, write to, vent to, question – I’m here. And willing to help anyone in need, however I can. Never hesitate. And remember, all my cancer fighters and survivors – Thyroids are so last season 😉 – Lace

“I admire people who choose to smile after all the things they’ve been through.” – UNKNOWN

Mic Check : One, Two — What thyroid?

I realize, I’m not so fantastic at this whole blog thing. I get a vibe going and then I fall off. Which isn’t right. Not only does this blog exist to represent a plethora of thyroid cancer knowledge and awareness, it also touches on my experience to all my fellow survivors and recently diagnosed. My intentions are always to engage, inspire, make you laugh, create a blanket of comfort, and to let you know – You are going to be just fine.

This week, I am currently undergoing my yearly cancer screening. This involves thyrogen shots, blood work, a neck ultrasound, a tiny dose of RAI, and of course a full body scan this Friday. I will make sure to write about the whole process. I do have a few really great subjects to touch on next week pertaining to the cost of having a “good kind of cancer” as well as all the pills that have come into my life since being diagnosed.

Stay tuned, Darlings – Keep fighting the good fight!

via Mic Check : One, Two — What thyroid?

The opening of GARDEN GARAGE

Hey Babes!

 

Cheers to Thyroid Cancer Awareness month! Have you had your neck checked yet?
What are you waiting for?!

 

I have a new blog post coming up this week, pertaining to my most recent results since May.  Let’s just say, I FINALLY got a break! For a few months at least…

In the meantime, I’ve been busy traveling and perusing a dream of mine; opening up a plant retail shop! It’s called Garden Garage. The door went up directly after my last post and it’s been nothing short of amazing. My favorite part besides getting my hands dirty? All the people and avenues it has led me to. Las Vegas has such a great community of makers, finders, and creators, it’s unbelievable! You just have to find us 😉

Garden Garage builds a unique narrative of plants and spaces we see everyday. By elevating the location to a neighborhood environment, through display and living plants, we acknowledge how extremely delicate and beautiful life really is. It is an idea of connecting with the community through shared interests and to take a pause and appreciate an object that brings meaning and breaks us away from the tendency to blend in.  This tightly edited collection of greenery is carefully crafted with design and quality in mind. We believe surrounding yourself with organic, southwest, minimalism vibes leads to a happier and more productive lifestyle. Give. Get. Grow.

For the rest of September, with every plant purchase over $50 I’ll be giving away a #WhatThyroid pin in the color of your choice! If you’re not in Las Vegas and would like to rock some awareness flair, you can find them on Etsy where shipping will be free through the remainder of the month. Interested in my full story? WhatThyroid.com .

If you’re in Las Vegas, stop on by! The shop will be open 11AM – 3PM this Saturday, September 16th. As well, we’ll be at the Life is Beautiful, Market in the Alley, September 22-24, West Elm Oct. 1, AND the Grow Your Own Festival, Oct. 8th!

“To plant a garden is to
believe in tomorrow.”
— Audrey Hepburn

 

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Don’t forget to hit follow on Instagram for daily chats, inspiration, and good vibes!

@garden.garage
@whatthyroid

On Pins and Needles, with an Extra Side of Needles …

Why do I feel like every time I post, I need to start it off with “WOW – It’s been a while.” Sorry about that. Life gets busy and wild and I’m the worst at carving out time for myself these days. Unless it involves travel. Traveling has been a huge outlet for me, helping to reduce stress and explore, because let’s face it, life’s short! Anyways, hello there, welcome back! To you, to me. Let’s talk life without a thyroid once again.

——–

If there’s one thing I’ve come accustom to, it’s you take what you can get. Whether it’s an ultrasound on a Saturday or surgery on Christmas Eve. Avoid excuses, face reality, and move along as quickly and calmly as possible. You’ll never be ready for bad news so here’s vibing for the best – always. *

——–Starting last Saturday, this week marks the start of my yearly examinations since diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2014. Considering my initial diagnosis, I have yet to be in remission. Every three months I have labs pulled. Every six months I check in with the docs for them to tell me pretty much nothing except we’ll keep monitering you. Thanks. And every year I have a plethora of testing, more blood work, and scans done.

Now, while I’m about pro level at this microscopic game of thyroid cancer, I still get quite uneasy when I have looming appointments like these approaching. Especially the yearly follow up. These are big time, folks. And I have yet to receive good news, just once. Let me tell you, I f*cking NEED THIS. A break. To regroup and refocus.

April 22 ( Earth Day! ), the last thing I would ever ask for is to unfold out of slumber and head to Desert Radiology for a neck ultrasound. Playing with plants and spending the day outside, enjoying our blue planet sounded more like my cup of tea. But alas, like I mentioned in the *above, sometimes you just have to dive in and be done with it.
Away I went.

—–

Random Side Thought: When fellow patrons in the waiting room hear you called down the ultrasound hallway, I wonder the percentage of people listening assume I must be pregnant. AND, if and when that day ever comes, will I be traumatized by ultrasounds? I mean, seriously. I’ve had about a dozen of them and none came out the way we wanted. 

Back the the update.

—–

At this point I know exactly what cancer looks like under ultrasonic frequency. Your lymph nodes appear circular and solid black, traced with a small outline. When cancer shows it’s ugly presence, the best way to describe – Tiny little static within that solid black circle. When mapping for my second surgery, one of the ultra sound techs and the administering doctor, stabbing needles into my neck, showed me the art of death. Now I’m terrified of it. So rather than stare at the screen this time, I opted to shut my eyes and keep breathing. I didn’t as questions like I normally do. I’ve pretty much asked them all. Knowing I had all this other crazy coming up the following week, I decided I’d rather know nothing and hope for the best.

—–

“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing.” ― T.S. Eliot

 

—–

OK. I lied. I did peek just once. She was snapping so many images! But I only saw the screen for maybe twenty seconds and to my relief, everything looked normal.

Sunday was all mine. Julian went galavanting with some high school friends, in from Houston and Minnesota. I decided to stay home alone with Frank and just vedge. The only downside was the damn wind we’ve been getting knocked around with here in Las Vegas lately. Any day now it can stop. My allergies are killing me on top of everything else.

Monday kicked off this week with Thyrogen Shot 1 –  It stung like a motherf*cker! Tuesday, exactly 24 hours later, ( in my best DJ Khaled voice ) ANOTHA ONE. I’m still wrapping my head around why exactly I paid 2K to get probed with needles. Oh wait, that’s right. Because the alternative is to go off your thyroid meds for three weeks and feel like a pile of brain dead mush that sleeps all the time. That doesn’t fly in the creative entrepreneur club.

Directly after my first injection Monday, I headed downstairs to get my blood drawn for a pregnancy test. No, I am not pregnant, nor are we interested at this point. It was strictly precautionary due to the fact that later today, I’ll be swallowing more radio active iodine in preparation for my i-131 full body scan Friday.

BUT GET THIS. Summerlin Hospital LabCorp lost my blood! And so this morning, when I was suppose to pop that radioactive pill, I got a phone call from Desert Radiology’s Nuclear department. My heart dropped thinking they were about to tell me we had a Lil’ Murr on the way, but low and behold, they called to inform me they could not find my results. Le sigh. Is this really happening? So at 7:30AM today, I raced to another LabCorp to give additional blood for a STAT pregnancy test. Go figure, the first lady poked me TWICE and didn’t get a vein. F*ck. I hate needles already and she was just digging into my arm! After her double fail, a second mam came in to draw. She apologized, she was going to have to go in the same vein that was already bruised from Monday’s lost labs.  She got it like a pro, but I was about five seconds from passing out. She yelled for ice and laid me down on the table directly ahead of where I was sitting. What an early morning trip! I promise you I will NOT be paying for this second bill if and when it comes. The worst part of it all? I have to get more labs tomorrow to check my thyroid levels. AHHHHH. I’m going to keep telling myself, the Universe is throwing this all at me to test my ability to stay positive and calm, with results tossing me into my first NED ( no evidence of disease ) category in three years. Pretty, PRETTY, please.

And now I’m writing this while I sit patiently, trying to concentrate on work, and await Keith to call me over to swallow some foreign pill. See, the thing is with these tests, they have to be done in a specific order. Mostly due to the Thyrogen injections. It’s a stressful and daunting runaround. All results should be available by May 3. My appointment with my endo is May 8. I can pick everything up before then, but do I want to? I don’t like my endo enough to wait for her to tell me the verdict. What would you do?

Alright. Time to sign off. Thanks for reading! More from me Friday. We’re halfway there!

Thyroids are Cool

The American Cancer Society estimates that there will be about 64,300 new cases of thyroid cancer in the U.S. in 2016. Of these new cases, roughly 49,350 will occur in women and 14,950 in men. In fact, it is the most rapidly increasing cancer diagnosis in the United States, tripling it’s past numbers. And no matter how one may view the survival statistics, each story is different, each experience is hard and I urge you to never consider it a “good cancer.” There are no good cancers.

CHECK YOUR NECK.

What Thyroid? has become my mantra and also the face of my fight against Thyroid Cancer. Brutal honesty,  a twist of wit, and paired with the good, the bad, and the ugly, is the way I roll.

With September dedicated to Thyroid Cancer Awareness (are you sick of my posts yet?), I decided to express my personal experience, trauma, positivity, inspiration, and need to feed this creative soul, the best I know how; awareness through design. By this I mean pouring my guts into writing, complimented by these sweet little thyroid lapel pins.
Who says survivors need to rock ribbons or butterflies all the time?!?

SHOW ME YOUR THYROID!

$10 / Pin (Pick your color – Pink, Blue or Teal)

$25 / For all three Colors

FREE SHIPPING in the US for the entire month of Sept.

CHECK IT —–>  etsy.com/shop/WhatThyroid 

25% of all sales will give back to someone in need of financial help via medical bills, because lovers, this disease is NOT cheap. And with so many outlets donating to research and we have yet to hear of a cure – I’m taking an alternative route for the cause.Here’s to all the fighters and the survivors. The incredibly strong humans who have made it through this long haul. To the doctors and the nurses who have given their best. And here’s to our friends and family, who have supported and loved us endlessly!

Wear this pin with pride.
With confidence.
With gratitude.

TT 101 : What Thyroid

This Thyroid.

In the previous post, I tossed out there what a thyroid is (a gland) and what it controls (pretty much everything). What I forgot to mention is what it looks like. Picture two medium filet cuts in the shape of an abstract butterfly, kind of. Great visual, right? I do not suggest looking up Thyroidectomy on YouTube, anytime in your life. I just did.
Nasri, you are a CHAMP! And I can’t believe all that happened to my neck, TWICE.

I’ve been teaching a handful of children as of late, where and what a thyroid is. Of course I don’t go into the gory details of all the possibilities their thyroid’s future may have, but at least they are learning something that I can’t remember hearing about even in high school. Imagine that.

Then I give them a pin and they forget all about what I just said. They rather fight about who gets what color. So there’s that.

 
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Next up! All the pills. Onward!

 

 

 

 

Poppin’ Bottles!

I’m going to keep this short and sweet.

 

After the insane year I have had, I am cheers-ing to the Universe.
Glass of champagne in hand …

 

The call came in today. My scan report read : No Evidence of Disease.

 

*Mic Drop*

 

 

 

1,2,3 – RAI PREP!

This post was originally going to be available as a first update in isolation, but between extreme exhaustion and anxiety, I have very little brain activity.

My first dance with a quarantine like this was 10 solid days, one year ago. But let’s revisit this particular morning of my 2nd scheduled quarantine and then look at what I did to prepare. I hope this can help some honeys out there. That has always been one thing that lacks in my entirety of a cancer experience. Knowledge, documentary on what to expect, how to prepare, what precautions to take, what procedures are more exhausting than others. All the processes, experiences, and success of it all.

March 23, the Day Of
I reported to Desert Radiology early in the AM to willingly swallow a radio active pill containing 150 millicuries  in hopes of remission, finally. It’s administered by Leman. This tiny pill is removed from this massive metal box. Inside the box is a metal cylinder that contains the pill. I remove the lid, take the pill in my hand and down it with a bottle of water. From here they gear you up with plastic gloves, more water, and a letter to inform the police, if I were to get pulled over, that I am radio active. So radioactive in fact, that I have the ability to trip police scanners off – no joke!  I take the pill, grab my things, and I’m  immediately escorted out the back door for an exit. I can’t even walk through the lobby because I could harm every and anyone. WILD. And away I drove, purple plastic gloves on hands, heading straight into quarantine and seclusion. BYE.

SIDE NOTE: RAI Doses (Radio Active Iodine) 
The first time under treatment I swallowed 175 militaries and had to be quarantined at home for 10 days –  It didn’t work. The cancer came back. Here we go again, then. Another 150 mCi. Mind you, anything over 600 millicuries in a lifetime can leave you with a high, potential risk of  leukemia or breast cancer. I’m half way there! Due to that exact fact, this will be the last time they attempt  RAI “therapy” to treat the extended cancer that waltzed its way into my lymph nodes. Only four days. Here’s hoping!

———–

March 22, the day before I was bound to a single living space for four days.

I have a tendency to take things to extreme levels in organization, cleaning, and preparation for certain situations. Getting ready for another round of RAI (radio active iodine), my motto remains:  Better safe than sorry. On top of that, since my insurance didn’t deem it necessary for me to safely reside in a hospital for these days of confinement, I created a list of execution in creating a sterile yet comfortable space for my quarantine.

 

First things first. Julian went to Home Depot, retrieved a roll of painter’s plastic and some cheap painters tape. With that single roll, I was able to cover every inch of my bedroom and bathroom floors, my entire king size bed mattress, and our white leather couch. I used an old pair of super soft sheets that have had their day, plus I didn’t really love the light blue color anymore. They were a bit small for our new bed so I had to tape them down. From Walmart, we swooped up two cheap-o pillows, six towels, plastic cutlery, paper plates, heavy duty trash bags, a new light weight blanket, toilet paper, paper towel, dispoable plastic gloves, three tooth brushes, a travel size tooth paste, four bath poofs, and some travel size shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Absolutely everything that is disposable. All in all, with food, I think we spent just about $200 – Which is clearly much cheaper than any hospital stay and I ate fresh, organic foods. #Win

 

 

 

Once all the plastic was down and ready to go, my room cleared a “Dexter Approved” status given by Frank Murray, my plastic laying advisor. Julian had two coolers right outside my patio door in which he changed the ice every day and stocked with H2o. I ate a lot of chicken and avocados. I drank a ton of water and Glacier Freeze Gatorade. We brought in our kitchen table, it’s much smaller than our office desks.  I refuse to have a t.v. in our bedroom and was hoping to get some work in, so my iMac fit perfectly and served as entertainment/taunting stress, knowing how much I have on my current design plate. I had my coffee pot and toaster oven in the bathroom which served as a quaint little kitchen. I had two outfits picked for each day, the first two of which I threw away along with all the towels after the first day.

 

 

 

I really took the time to make my space comfortable. Sanctuary like. Lemonheads in a champagne coop? Yes, please! I brought in candles and incense, plants, and photographs. It was a much better stay than my first round last year. I feel very fortunate that we have such a beautiful home and backyard. Though I opted to not go outside for the first three days, the pool view kept things inspiring and exciting for summer.

 

 

These four days of isolation were documented each evening and can be read in previous posts. Nothing exciting, I promise.  Saturday afternoon, I cleaned the room, throwing 80% of everything away, including pillows, sheets, towels, all my travel size toiletries, and even my hair brush. All will be stored, double bagged, in our garage for the next 40 days before trashing. Yeah. Solidly radioactive. I washed the two larger blankets and any other parcel of clothing I decided to keep, three times to be extra careful. All were separated from our regular laundry.  I had to change my clothes TWICE a day and place them in plastic bags until I could leave my confined space. Any small drop of sweat, urine, spit, snot, etc. could contaminate and harm any warm blooded species that may come in contact with me. I could not work out or do anything strenuous to prevent sweating and I had to wash my hands every hour while I was awake. At this time in my life I am back to freelancing full-time so there is no sick pay or FMLA. I have worked tiredly through both my cancer quarantines. All is well in the world, but damn it’s hard and a lot of work.

 

Yesterday was Easter. I talked to all my family in Wisconsin, wishing I was with them. Or with the Murray clan in Mexico! Tomorrow I have a blood work appointment at 2PM and Wednesday morning I report for my I-131 scan at Desert Radiology with Keith – Looking forward to clear scan results! I have to carry a piece of paper until May 7th saying that I may still have some radioactivity roaming around inside my bod, which has been known to set off police radars and airline security. Ha! WILD. Other than that, there once again, are not enough hours in a day and I am preparing for a busy, busy work week among other things. I NEED ANOTHER VACATION.

 

Cheers, Lovers. Take care of You.

 

 

 

 

DAY FOUR

Post From Saturday

 

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An early post – Because I’m busting on out of here! Champagne in hand thanks to @jmurrphoto 🍾🍾🍾
Enough about him and his cute butt.

I ripped all the plastic off the carpets and bathroom floors. Wiped down and disinfected every inch of the space I’ve been hunkered down in. Started laundry. I will be sleeping alone, not kissing my husband, eating with paper plates + cutlery, plus keeping my distance from ‪#‎FrankMurray‬ for the next week yet, but if I can come out of this with a clear scan on Wednesday – It’s all more than worth it. More blood work Tuesday.
The Easter bunny @diyordone or done visited this morning. I also received a ‪#‎gorgeous‬ arrangement of ‪#‎florals‬ from a dear friend via ‪#‎Minneapolis‬, AND a sweet little package that carried an ‪#‎amethyst‬ ‪#‎crystal‬ and ‪#‎incense‬ from ‪#‎California‬ graced me as well! AHHHH. La Dawna! You’re amazing. See you soon 😘

Side Note : I opened the door from the bedroom for the first time in four days – ‪#‎Dudes‬ are gross. My ‪#‎radioactive‬ room smells and looks better than the rest of the house. 😑

I finished Parks and Rec. I’m sad. And didn’t totally fall in love with Season Seven. But I still miss them already – My ‪#‎Pawnnee‬ friends!
The remainder of my day will be spent reading outside. Tomorrow, nothing special. Working more than likely. I’m anxious and wishing I was with our families back in the ‪#‎Midwest‬, but soon enough!
Love you all – You make me smile!
xxoo – Laaaaa

‪#‎thyca‬ ‪#‎thyroidcancerawareness‬ ‪#‎thyroidcancer‬ ‪#‎RAI‬ ‪#‎whatthyroid‬

DAY THREE

I drank my first cup of ‪#‎coffee‬ in three days. I made it mildly weak. It was delicious. However, I drink coffee slower than the average bear. I also turn my coffee pot off, once brewed, in fear of burning ‪#‎fresh‬ coffee. Is that possible? Anyway, I had no way to heat up my coffee after I forgot about it today. I get that from my ‪#‎Grandma‬ J. Either I don’t know where I left my cup (usually in the microwave) or I reheat it throughout the day, roughly three times. I love her.

 

I’m finding it rather hard to pry myself away from Parks and Rec. SEASON SEVEN. Ep.3! I thought I would read more literature, but I haven’t touched a single piece of paper in fear of ‪#‎contaminating‬ it. I hate wearing plastic gloves. It’s gross. Andi, you’re a blood drawing queen! 💉👑

 

Over the past 72 hours, my newest, creeping succulent, that I took captive to spend four days with me, has sprouted new growth! “String of Pearls” – Check them out (no dirty jokes, please). I noticed this while I was up, designing away. Felt good to get a nice project push before the weekend and kill a little captivity time.

 

Word is – Remember that ridiculous reality show “My First Home” which was a complete made up story about us and our home buying experience? Yeah, it airs Saturday, April 9th at 12:00pm on TLC. We have made up a drinking game that goes with and 👉🏻 you MUST participate if you watch the episode, no matter where you are in this world. Stay tuned for more Information.

 

Tomorrow I sleep in, and clean like a mad woman. I’m getting out tomorrow. You know, out the joint? Yeah. That super bright and airy space that I have gotten to vedge out in, alone, for four days, poolside, in my safe little plastic wrapped, tv, and starburst filled sanctuary. I think I might do this quartly. A quartly quarantine to rejuvenate. It’s all about perspective. 😘💪🏻

 

xoxo,

 

– The girl in pink pineapple socks

🍍🍍🍍🍍🍍

 

‪#‎RAI‬ ‪#‎whatthyroid‬ ‪#‎thyroidcancer‬ ‪#‎thyroidcancerawareness‬ ‪#‎radioactive‬‪#‎thyca‬